My baby you'll be ...

The gentle sea wind tossed a few strands of jet black hair across her beautiful face. The face that was once aglow with the light of a thousand smiles had lately started reflecting the bitter realities of a world that once seemed far away. As she listened intently to the sound of the crashing waves, she recalled the words that he had once whispered in her ears – “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I am living … my baby you’ll be”.

She looked around the crowded beach and saw a lot of people. They all looked quite happy to be spending the evening here away from the drudgery of work. She scanned her surroundings with the hope of soaking some happiness for herself from that of those around her and her eyes rested on a young couple who seemed to be having a great time. They held hands, talked, laughed, and kissed ... and then did all of that again and again. Seeing such couples always brought a smile to her lips, but it also induced a dull pain in her heart. While she would be happy that there is so much love around her, she could never fathom why it was snatched away from her for no fault of her own.

Many years ago, on a seabeach similar to this one, he had held her hand as they walked side-by-side mesmerized by the setting sun. He had told her that they would get married, have kids, grow old together and once their kids would leave home, they would keep coming back to this beach town every year. She remembered saying a silent amen but little did she know that the Gods weren’t listening that time. Destiny had already set the wheels in motion to conjure a tomorrow that was unimaginable to them in that wonderful romantic moment.

She missed him a lot and would think about him every day. She knew that she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t stop herself. The memories were like a savage animal who could be locked up in a cage but whose shrieks could be heard from miles away. Even though she had got rid of everything that could remind her of their time together, the memories were always present, like a silent shadow – comforting her when she was worried, entertaining her when she was bored, guiding her when she was confused, and appreciating her when she felt unloved. In fact, the memories were her slayer and savior at the same time.

She had a sip of the cool fresh coconut water as she tried to get more comfortabe in her beach chair. The sun had started to set and it cast an amber hue on face. She looked towards the food stalls and saw a little girl in pink dress, waiting with anticipation, for her turn at the ice cream truck. A tall guy, her father, stood next to her tinkering with his cell phone. I wish I could be a baby again, she thought to herself as she looked away. Life is indeed so much simpler and bereft of complications when your age in days is lesser than the number of nights you have silently cried yourself to sleep over a problem that you cannot fix.

He always used to treat her like a baby, and she used to enjoy that treatment very much. He would fuss over her all the time, caring for her when she was sick, checking if she ate timely or not, asking her everyday what her day was like, making her laugh with his silly stories and anecdotes, and a lot of those sweet little things that no grown up woman ever asks for, but many secretly desire. Once she had asked him if he would always love her like this. To that he had replied, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I am living … my baby you’ll be”.

She wondered where he was right now. Was he married? Was he happy? Did he still think of her like she would think of him? What would it be like if they accidently bumped into each other in a far off land? Would he smile and say hello? Would he just stare right through her and pretend as if she was a stranger? Would a conversation be awkward and formal, or would it be smooth and comforting like it had always been? Does he still love me as much as I love him? A vast number of such meaningless questions ran through her mind.

At some point of time in the past, they had both really wanted to get married to each other. Destiny, sadly, had other plans. Life had changed overnight in a way that was utterly incomprehensible. All the dreams and desires that were once the secret of the twinkle in her eyes, now pierced her eyes like ugly, jagged, shards of glass. Just as another wave hit the shore, silent tears oozed out of her eyes, and rolled down her cheeks. She wiped off the tears as quickly as the wave receded from the shore.

It was getting darker and people had started to go home. She looked towards the food stalls that were still crowded and tried to locate the little girl in the pink dress. The little girl was enjoying her ice cream as her father was still busy with his cell phone. She smiled at how adorable the child looked. The child's big round eyes were shining with delight of having the yummy treat in her hands. Once again, she looked away and started thinking about the things she needed to do tonight to be ready for another busy week starting tomorrow. There was the quality assurance report to finish, the work clothes to press, the curry to be made before the boiled vegetables went bad, and a lot of other typical Sunday evening chores. She was trying to prioritize the tasks that needed to be done after she got home.

“Let’s go home, Mommy!” said a familiar voice as she looked around and saw the little girl in the pink dress running towards her. Her father, walking a couple of steps behind, held up the car keys signaling it was time to go home. She hugged her daughter and asked, “Did you like the ice cream?” The little girl nodded and said, “Mommy, since I finished all my homework can I go home and watch the Cartoon Network?” She laughed and said, “Sure honey, if you have finished your studies then you can watch some TV.” The little girl, overjoyed, hugged her mother and asked her if she would always love her so much.

To that she replied, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I am living … my baby you’ll be”.