Yash-Raaz Films present, “Aarambh – The Inception”

“Your heart is the scene of your match-making”.

Rahul Khanna (Shahrukh Kumar) is a skilled prem chikitsak, the absolute best in the dangerous art of Samapti. He specializes in stealing the love a person has for his beloved by delving deep within their subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Rahul’s rare ability has made him a coveted player in the world of arranged marriages where angry parents don’t want their precious little son/daughter to get married to their current gold-digger/douche bag love interests. He also bags tremendous business from people who feel that their spouses are cheating on them and of course from the Mahadesh Navbarbaad Sena (MNS). However, this has made him an international fugitive and has cost him everything he has ever loved. Now, Rahul is being offered once chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can achieve the opposite – Aarambh.

Instead of the perfect breakup, Rahul and his team of specialists have to pull of the reverse: their task is not to break up a couple but to create one. If they succeed it will be the perfect match-making. But no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Raj could have seen coming: the beautiful and mysterious, Anjali Sharma (Kajal).

The story begins with Raj washing up on a beach and is brought by armed guards into the chamber of an elderly man. The only things that Raj is carrying are a red rose and a small bright green stuffed parrot toy. “I have seen that thing many many years ago”, says the old man pointing to the parrot. The scene then cuts to a dream in the mind of Aman Mathur (Shahrukh Kumar in a double role) where Rahul and his team is on a Samapti mission, in which an individual’s mind is infiltrated through his dreams and his love for his girlfriend is stolen. Chikitsaks and their victims sleep in close proximity with each other connected by a device that administers a sedative and allows them to share a dream world built on their mental projections. Within the dream world, pain is felt but death merely results in consciousness. Rahul carries a stuffed toy – a bright green parrot, also known as tota, to test whether he is dreaming or awake, which flaps its wings continuously or intermittently, respectively. Unknown to Rahul and his team, Aman Mathur is actually auditioning the team to work for him.

Aman asks Rahul to perform the act of “aarambh” – secretly implanting love for another person in the target’s mind. The target is Naina Catherine Kapoor (Preity Pinta) whose mind has to be implanted with love for Rohit Patel (Saif Ali Kumar), because she feels that she is in love with Aman but unknown to her, Aman is dying of a serious heart condition. Since he knows that his life span is short he wants Naina to fall in love with Rohit so that they can live happily ever after.

Rahul meets Ali Bhai (Uday Bhopra) who is an excellent dream architect and recruits him for the mission. In Rahul’s mind, Ali discovers a vision of Rahul’s deceased girl friend, Anjali that continuously haunts him and sabotages his missions. Later, Rahul reveals to Ali that he and Anjali had spent many years in a limbo dream summer camp forging their lives playing basketball with a funny Sardar kid. She used to keep the stuffed parrot to remind herself if she was dreaming or awake. After waking up from the dream, Anjali disappeared only to be never found again with the police suspecting that Rahul had murdered her and hidden her dead body. That’s when Rahul started using the Anajli’s tota in her remembrance.

In payment of performing the aarambh on Naina Catherine Kapoor, Aman promises to clear Rahul’s criminal charges. Powered by this promise, Rahul devises a layer of multiple dreams (dream within a dream within a dream within a dream …) to infiltrate Naina’s mind and plant a deep love for Rohit. As Rahul and his team enter Naina’s subconscious, slowly it dawns upon Ali and Rahul that Rahul first needs to sort out his subconscious before they can successfully complete the mission because Anjali will keep sabotaging it. Gradually it is revealed that this is not the first time Rahul is performing an aarambh and has previously done it before – to Anjali. In the past, Rahul was in love with Tina (Maharani Mukherjee in a guest appearance), when Anjali was in love with Rahul. So that Anjali does not come in between Rahul and Tina, Rahul had performed an aarambh on Anjali so that she falls in love with someone else leaving Rahul and Tina alone. Secretly, Rahul had always loved Anjali more than Tina hence he kept having recurring visions of Anjali even after her mysterious disappearance. Rahul realizes that the only way he can complete Aman’s mission is by letting go of his love for Anjali by convincing himself that she is dead because that is the only way he can get her out of his mind and not have her sabotage the mission. He recalls for one last time that he had planted a random guy’s love in her mind and most probably the aarambh failed because Anjali could never forget her love for Rahul and ended up killing herself.

Finally, the mission is a success and Naina falls in love with Rohit. Aman keeps his promise makes sure that all charges are lifted from Rahul and that he is re-united with his children. The final twist in the tale comes when Rahul realizes that Anjali is not dead …when he sees her on TV with her husband, Ajay Devcannon. At this moment, he realizes that the ‘random’ man whose love he had planted in Anjali’s mind was none other than this guy. Totally flabbergasted, he looks at his tota, in the hope that this is a dream … and it starts flapping it wings … when suddenly the movie ends; leaving the question unanswered that whether this was a dream or reality.

What an original story! Pakka superhit!

A-Z of Bollywood Cliches ... Part One

Everyone knows the common ones, viz. "Kutte, kaminey main tera khoon pi jaoonga" or "Main tumhare bachhe ki maa banne waali hoon", etc. So, I will try to stay clear of those and take a look at some of the less common ones ...

A is for ...
"Ab inhe dava ki nahi, duaa ki zaroorat hai"
Translation: Medicines could only do so much, now he needs prayers.
Frequency of use: Extremely high in the 70s and 80s. Declining now.
Explanation: Typically said by the a middle aged man wearing a white coat and a stethoscope. Even if the beneficiary from the aforesaid prayers is dying of lymphosarcoma of the intestine, the stethoscope is mandatory.
Can be substituted by: "Ab sab upar waale ke haath mein hai"
Translation: Now everything is in God's hands.


B is for ...
"Bas ek baar ... bas ek kaar keh do ki tumhe mujhse pyaar hai"
Translation: For once ... tell me that you love me.

Frequency: Quite high in war movies. However, when creatively paired with other cliches it can also be used in revenge sagas or in tutti-frutti love stories.
Explanation: The lovesick hero will utter these words of passion before he goes off to defend his country in war or rushes of to do something that is make-believe very important. Invariably whatever he is going to do will be selfless in nature. This dialog is often followed by a slow love song sung by the heroine with short montages of the hero off on his "mission".

Can be substituted by: "Mujhe kuchh nahi hoga, tumhara pyaar mere liye woh kavach hai jo mujhe maut ke mooh se bhi kheench ke tumhaare paas waapas layega."

Translation: Nothing will happen to me. Your love for me is an armor that will allow me to return safely into your arms from the gallows of death.

C is for ...
"Chillao mat!"

Translation: Don't shout.

Frequency of use: Any movie that has a patriarch will have a version of this dialog.
Explanation: Used more as a threat rather than as an advice or request. Generally, an authoritarian figure will say these words and more-often-than not will say it at a pitch exceeding 103.7 decibels. These words are generally spoken inside enclosed spaces such as in the living room of a mansion or in a really large office. This allows the words to echo and the camera immediately takes 3 closeups of the speaker's contorted face from different angles.

Alternative: "Khamosh!"

Translation: Silence

D is for ...
"Dhokebaaz! Maine tumhe kya samjha aur tum kya nikle"

Translation: You cheat! I trusted you and then you stabbed my back.

Frequency of use: Pretty low lately, given the fact that treachery and deceit is "cool" these days. However, back in the 80s you couldn't even make a mythological movie without this dialog.

Explanation: A naive girl who has been taken for a ride by a Casanova will say these words when she finds him putting the moves on another girl. Also cried out by the trusting business tycoon who went away on a long trip by giving his deputy the power of attorney for his entire business, only to find out on return that the deputy has now fraudulently taken over everything he once owned.

Alternative: "Aastin ke saanp"

Translation: Difficult to translate!

E is for ...
"Ek mahal ho sapnon kaa"

Translation: I dream of a house of dreams.

Frequency of use: No good movie has this dialog. Most bad movies have it. You guess.

Explanation: The girl or the guy will utter these words in a tender romantic moment when the couple is dreaming of a future together. Invariably, the writer puts this line into the script for melodrama and to play for contrast, because soon one of them is going to die. The house of dreams will remain a figment of imagination in a metaphorical, but clichéd, way. Oh yes, a dreamy love song has to start playing within 71 seconds of this dialog being spoken.

Alternative: "Hum apni duniya basayenge"

Translation: We will build a world of our own.

F is for ...

"Fizaon ne fir se apna rukh badal liya hai"
Translation: The winds of change are in motion.
Frequency of use: Potentially huge. Can be used in stories about business rivalry, ideological clashes, love triangles, and social uprising.
Explanation: Any story that involves two or more people competing against each other has a version of this dialog. Generally spoken by one of the competitors before he unleashes some action that for-a-while puts him ahead in the race. If this dialog is spoken in the first 30 minutes of the movie, the greater probability is that the underdog will win. If spoken in the last 30 minutes, the speaker wins.
Alternative: "Mausam badal rahe hain"
Translation: The weather is changing. Don't we love metaphors?

G is for ...
"Gaon ki gori"
Translation: The village belle.
Frequency of use: Done to death till the mid 90s. Declining now.
Explanation: Well, technically speaking this isn't a stand alone dialog. It's more of a personification of a cliched character. Typically the gaon ki gori is one that dresses up in lehenga-cholis, reveals ample cleavage, gets soaked in water every time she is near a pond/river/pot, has the local goon lusting after her, has a fat sidekick who has been thrown into the story for comic relief, is the lead dancer in the group dance act during the festival or the wedding celebrations, and has a razor sharp tongue that often gets her into trouble. Sometimes, this village belle will travel to the big, bad, city and will magically transform into a Paris Hilton overnight. One thing that never fails to surprise me about these girls is that even though they often live in villages where they have to fetch water from a well or a brook, they always seem to have perfect eyebrows, manicured nails, and waxed hairless arms, underarms, and legs.

H is for ...
"Haramzaade"
Translation: Bastard.
Frequency: Off-the-charts!
Explanation: Often confused as a mere cuss word, this word has several profound applications. The obvious situations where this word is used are right before the rape scene (said by the girl), before/during/after a fight scene between the hero and the bad guy (said by the hero), right after an accounting fraud has been discovered (said by the boss), and many more such obvious situations. However, when the hero (or one of the central characters) is an illegitimate child then the word develops undertones that may lead to a melodramatic flashback or a philosophical discussion, sometimes even a song!
Alternative: "Gandi naali ke keede"
Translation: Can someone help me with this one? Some statements don't cross over very well into a different language.

I is for ...
"I object, your honor"

Translation: I object, your honor :P

Explanation: Court scene. If the hero's lawyer objects, the objection is over-ruled. If the bad guy's lawyer objects, it is sustained. Simple.

Alternative: Are you kidding me? It's blasphemous to even think that this dialog can have a substitute.

Translation: Sind sie vich verarschen? (German for "are you kidding me?")

Frequency: Every movie with a court scene WILL have this dialog. Period.

J is for ...
"Judwaa bhai/behen."
Translation: Twin brother/sister
Explanation: Once again, not a dialog but an interesting species only found within Bollywood. You CANNOT have a twins story that does not involve a few cases of mistaken identities. You CANNOT have a twins story that ends with the two walking off in different directions. One HAS TO BE an absolute introvert and the other, an out-and-out extrovert. If there is a bad guy in the story, he WILL kidnap the wrong twin. There WILL be a happy song that the twins will sing together wearing dresses that are in absolute contrast with each other.

K is for ...
"Kutte, kaminey ... bhagwaan ke liye mujhe mujhe chhod de"
Translation: You bastard, leave me alone for god's sake.
Explanation: The quintessential precursor to a rape scene. Invariably followed by either the girl getting raped (with most of her clothes on), or by the dramatic entry of the hero who will pause to cover up the girl with his jacket before bashing up the goon. It's uncanny how the hero always remembers to wear a jacket on a night when any girl might be about to get raped.
Can be substituted by: "Nahinnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Translation: Nooooooooooooo. Also commonly used when someone dies.
Frequency of use: High.

Part 2 will soon follow ... Till then hit me with your ideas that I can use for L - Z.