Gratitude Lost ... and regained.

Today, somehow, I am filled with a sense of gratitude. Off the top of my head here is a list (by no means, exhaustive) of things that I am thankful for –

Thank you, God, for …

1. Giving me parents who I can turn to for love, comfort, guidance, and shelter.
2. Giving me the ability to love someone with my heart and soul, and to be loved in return.
3. Giving me friends who make the journey of life more colorful and wonderful.
4. Giving me relatives who care.
5. Giving us Himesh Reshammiya who makes me laugh every time he releases a movie as lead actor.
6. Allowing me to be born in a household where I had everything I could ask for, right from GI Joe toys to the latest books.
7. Being born to parents who knew the difference between education and literacy.
8. Allowing me to take birth in the glorious land of India.
9. Giving me the love of all four grandparents till I was 18.
10. Kishor Kumar, Mohammad Rafi, Hemant Kumar, Mukesh, Asha Bhonsle, Lata Mangeshkar, Geeta Dutt, and Jagjit Singh.
11. Blessing me with a body that has, by His grace, never had any major physical ailment.
12. Giving me the gift of curiosity and reasoning.
13. My interest in books, even in this digital age.
14. Giving me the ability to make others laugh – sometimes with me, sometimes at me.
15. Guns N Roses, especially the troika of Don’t Cry – November Rain – Estranged.
16. Giving me the ability to work towards achieving my dream.
17. The ability to express myself through words – written and spoken.
18. The immense joy from the simple things in life like watching a rainbow, a paper boat in a puddle, hearing an old song on the radio, and watching a sunset over a steaming cup of cardamom tea.
19. Keeping me away from drugs.
20. Giving me the ability to store unlimited fond memories – a safe haven for the times when I feel I have hit rock bottom.
21. Giving me the ability to appreciate the works of Gulzar, Harivanshrai Bachhan, Paulo Coelho, and Premchand.
22. Giving us a Shashi Tharoor for a Sharad Pawar, a Kiran Bedi for a Mayawati.
23. Golmaal (Amol Palekar), Chupke Chupke (Dhamendra), and Andaaz Apna Apna.
24. Putting me in a position where I can give something back to the society.
25. Giving me the humility to know that my ignorance is infinite, and there can never be a day when I know ‘too much’.
26. The omnipresence of Murphy’s laws in my life to the extent that my mind is now trained to always expects the worst to happen, and on the rare instances when it doesn’t … it leaves me thrilled beyond imagination.
27. Making me filmy enough to truly believe in Om Prakash Makhija when he says that, “Humaari zindagi mein bhi humaari filmon ki tarah end tak sab theek hi ho jaata hai, aur agar theek na ho – matlab, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost”.
28. The ability to see that there is a spiritual world, beyond the material world that we live in, even though there is no scientific evidence for the same as yet. In other words, thank you God for giving me faith.
29. Himesh Reshammiya, once again (Hahaha!).
30. Giving me the ability to see that no matter how crappy my life gets, there are always things to be grateful for.

Finding the Purpose: A Journey of Introspection and Self-Realization

Why do I love Calvin and Hobbes? Is it because reading it reminds me of my childhood days when life was much simpler? Or is it because its creator, Bill Watterson, does an excellent job of portraying the complexities of life through the innocent eyes of a six-year-old? While I am not sure about the answer to that question often I, just like Calvin, find myself wondering about the purpose of my existence. The last nine months of my life at the Mays Business School have offered some vital clues to that puzzle and I now feel that I am a lot closer to solving the puzzle than I ever was.

Self awareness is a critical precursor to deciphering one’s role in the circle of life. Being self aware means knowing certain inherent things such as your strengths, weaknesses, sources of motivation, etc. However, most of us are not tuned to the voices within us that often tell us very clearly where our strengths and weaknesses lie. Hence, it is a good idea to take a trip into your inner world to find out certain truths about yourself that we commonly feel that we have no time for in our day-to-day life. It is this journey into the realm of one’s mind that is one of the most rewarding and exciting trips that a person can ever undertake. For me this journey was punctuated by numerous aha moments as I unraveled facts about myself one-by-one.

Undertaking this journey would have been a lot tougher, though not impossible, without the tools that were at my disposal such as the Birkman, the energize/drain journal, and the StrengthsQuest assessment. These tools gave me valuable feedback that helped me both, reaffirm some views about myself and also question some things about myself that I always thought were true. Overall, I am extremely pleased that I got an opportunity to undertake these assessments as it has made me more aware of my strengths and shortcomings.

I always knew that some of my biggest strengths are communication, positivity, strategic thinking, and my ability to turn thoughts into action (activator). However, my biggest strength, as pointed out by the StrengthsQuest assessment was input – indicating an insatiable thirst for knowledge and a desire to learn new things. Now that I think of it, I realize that I have always been a person who can spend hours at a stretch surfing the internet and reading about things as diverse as Roman history to the latest developments in the field of medicine. I can recall that I once told my supervisor at my previous job that I would rather have a “broad-and-shallow” knowledge base rather than a “narrow-and-deep” focus, while justifying my candidature for a new job profile within our organization.

A complaint that I had with my software job was that it did not offer me enough opportunities to learn new things on a day-to-day basis outside of the world of technology. Realizing the fact that a typical software development job would never be able to offer the continuous sense of novelty that I seek, I decided to get an MBA to facilitate a career shift into the world of media and advertising where opportunities for continuous and diverse learning would be far greater. Somehow, I have always been reasonably good with numbers and technology despite my dislike for jobs and courses that involve detailed technical and numerical analysis. When I decided to make a career shift, I was plagued by the concern that was I leaving something that I am good at, only in the hope of catching a unicorn? Looking at the StrengthsQuest assessment (that did not list ‘analytical’ as my top strengths) gives me a tremendous surge of confidence that I took the right decision and has also opened the doors of my mind to consider some career options that I had previously not thought of.

I remember my father telling me about a cognitive psychological tool called the ‘Johari Window’ when I was a child. That was when I came to know that there are things about people that neither they nor the people around them know (the fourth quadrant), and that thought made me extremely uncomfortable. Being the inquisitive person that I am, it has always been my endeavor to learn as much about myself as I can possibly learn by seeking constant input from the people around me. For a person who is obsessed with learning something new about the world every day, it is not shocking that he is equally obsessed about learning new things about himself!

None of my other strengths surprised me and were largely expected. My past record speaks for itself and clearly indicates that communication, positivity, strategic thinking, and my ability to turn thoughts into action are indeed my biggest strengths. The past nine months in a business school have encouraged me to keep walking on the path that I have chosen and have convinced me even more that I am playing to my strengths. Encouraged by this positive reinforcement of my self-evaluation, I see no need to readjust my career plans. I strongly believe that we are all born to accomplish something. Before we can do that, we need to have a clear goal so that we can work towards it. Identifying the goal is the toughest part of the job, and sadly this is the part that most of us fail in. Someone once said that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” In my opinion, the first step is getting to know yourself and chalking out a career path that is in perfect harmony with one’s core strengths because therein lies the key to happiness, satisfaction, and success. All one has to do to achieve the aforesaid is to pay a little more attention to the details, just like Calvin.

To set the ball rolling ...

Studying for my finals right now (which start tomorrow), so cant write anything creative right now.

Here's the first post I ever wrote ...


A new day, a new beginning ... and I guess a new world. This is my first attempt at blogging. People who know me personally would find that strange, because blogging has been around for years and I am a perpetual netizen (Hate this word). For them, I have these five words -
1. Did
2. Not
3. Feel
4. Like
5. It

What makes me "feel" like blogging today ? Frankly, I do not know. I guess, today is just like one of those days when you wake up and say "I am going to clean my room today" and you do it. Your mom's surprised, Dad's giving a sly smile and your dog (if you have one) starts yelping, as the clean confines of the room make him feel alienated.

Its a blog and you are probably thinking, that why am I not coming straight to the point ? What is it that this guy wants to talk about ? Am I right ... You bet I am !

You know, I am writing this because I have nothing to talk about, or is it that I have too many things to say and do not know where to begin ? Hmm ... Have to sort this out ... need to talk to myself. Hey ... have you ever spoken to yourself ?

Me : How you doing ? I am writing my first blog and cannot think of a suitable topic. Can you help ?

Myself : Am fine. Thank you. What about you ?

Me : Just chilling dude ! Listen, I need some help with my blog.

Myself : Why are you always in such a hurry ? Its been a long time , since we had a chat. Just because we reside inside the same body, we feel so complacent about each other's presence. We hardly ever talk, hardly ever spend any quality time with one another.

Me : ... Jeez ... You complaining like a woman !

Myself : No-one is complaining. Am just reading out the facts the way they are. The two of us are supposed to be two sides of the same coin. But now it looks like the two sides are two separate entities of their own.

Me : ... Umm ... I am not sure whether I understand you.

Myself : Of course you do not ! Here ... sit down and listen to me patiently and do not interrupt me. We will think about your blog later. You seated ? Good !
Remember the Keanu-Reeves movie The Matrix ? If you can recall, in that movie everyone had 2 forms - One was their true self, revealed only to them and close ones ... and the other was their digital projection into the Matrix, there for all to see. That is exactly how it is now. You are the projection of yourself into tho world. What you are, is a mixture of (1)what you want to see yourself as, (2) what you want others to see you as, and finally (3) what you actually are. Whereas I am insulated from the outer world. I am very simply just what I was destined to be. And that is, YOUR true self.
The two of us are so similar and yet so different. You do not like listening to heavy metal , but still you do it because you are scared that your friends will call you a queer if you listen to soft, mushy stuff. But you do it anyway, trying to give them the impression that you are enjoying the guys screaming at the top of their voices. Smoking makes you cough, but still you do it ... because smoking makes you look macho. Keeping long hair, irritates you and makes you sweat ... but still you have this long mane, because its the so very "in" thing now. You are just following the herd blindly without listening to me - your inner self. Trust me, a few years from now you will be far happier if you walk on the path that I tell you rather than the path you are currently treading.

Me : Oh ! Come on ... you are not telling me anything new ! I know all this crap ! Even I have thought about what you have just said. Its just that, I often feel I should get in touch with you because you always tell me the right thing to do, but somehow I am always short-changed for time.

Myself : In today's world you will never get time. You will have to make time to converse with me. You keep putting things off by convincing yourself that I will do it. But the truth is that time keeps flying by. And then one day will come, when you would have buried me deep in the sands of time and you will be left all alone in a dark room full of shadows of things that might have been.

Me : Are you sure about what you are talking ? Your words are hardly coherent ... I am now totally confused that what is it that you have been wanting to tell me ...

Myself : What I want to tell you is that, keep in touch with me. I am just asking you for 10 minutes of your time. 5 minutes before you go to sleep, have a chat with me. Tell me what all you did, what all you said, what are your dreams, what do you want to achieve, what are the things dear to you and the like.

Me : ... Umm ... That sounds like a good idea but what about the remaining 5 minutes ?

Myself : Haha ... Don't you want to wish me good morning and tell me what are the things you plan to do during the day ?

Me : Yes. Sure. Ofcourse I will do it !

Myself : Do this without fail daily, and one day you will get to meet a a very dear friend of mine, his name is "Conscience".

Me : Will do dude ! You know its nice speaking to you after such a long time. Please do not mind my saying so ... but I think I have forgotten your name ! I am sorry !

Myself : It was nice talking to you too. I have not spoken to you in as much detail as I would like to, but I intend to do that in 5 minute capsules every morning and night starting from tonight ... and my name is "Prayer". Do not forget it this time. I got to leave ... as for now goodbye !

Me : Bye ! ... Hey, just a minute ... I thought you were going to help me with my blog!

Myself : I just did ! Cheers !