Quarter Life Crisis 2.0

Some of you might be thinking that I have gone loco with this quarter life crisis bit. Maybe. For those of you who don't understand what the hell am I talking about, good for you. I hope you don't have to worry about it and my best to you to settle down in your adulthood in full cheer and joy. To those lucky souls, my advice is don't waste your time reading this post. I am sure there's much more fun stuff to do than to hear a 20-something-straight-male PMSing about life!

Those of you who do relate to what I am talking about, read on. In my opinion we grow up in a society that trivializes the emotional. Add to that the massive paradigm shift in the way that we interact with the world and manage social relationships in this Facebook era. Wasn't the world a simpler place to live when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits? In today's world, displaying your emotions in public is considered a weakness. In fact, this message is hammered down so hard into our minds that at times we suppress our natural responses to thoughts and situations so that we don't appear weak to ourselves ... even when no one is watching! And, that is exactly my concern. The word 'crisis' has an ominous ring to it, and our knee jerk reaction is to debunk it's presence in our lives because it makes us feel that something is wrong with our (desired) oh-so-perfect existence. That's why I will not be surprised if an overwhelming majority of the people our age reject the idea of facing a quarter life crisis right now, even if they are. If you are not sure if you are actually experiencing this crisis, or not, here's a simple test -

1. Do you get the feeling that the pursuit of your peers is useless, because they never seem to reciprocate in the way that you want them to?
2. Do you, at times, think about how much time you have left in this world and what you intend to do with it ... without coming up with a satisfactory answer?
3. Have you started noticing age catching up with your parents and other relatives, only to get a feeling that one day they will be no more ... and before you know it, it will be your turn?
4. Do you trivialize your achievements in life, and get a feeling that it was "no big deal" or you just got "lucky"?
5. Do you feel unable to appreciate yourself and are far too critical of yourself (and others)?
6. Do you feel that there's something missing in your friendships and relationships?
7. Do you, at times, experience boredom in social interactions? For example, you are at a big party and all you want to do is sit in a quiet corner and drink your single malt?
8. Do experience a strong sense of nostalgia for the days gone by?
9. Do you continuously re-evaluate your close relationships, as if asking yourself the question, that does the other person care about you as much as you would like them to?
10. Do you feel that most people around you are leading a life much less complicated than yours? And, if you spoke to them about it ... they would, at best, lend you a patient hearing without quite understanding the root of the issue?
11. Have your opinions, just like your likes and dislikes, gotten stronger ?
12. Have you started creating a mental list of things that you want to do by a certain age, like get married, have kids, own a home, start your own business, etc. ?
13. When someone you know does any of the aforesaid, then does a part of your mind ask you the question, "I wonder when will I get to do that"?
14. Do you feel frustrated at the way the world works, and get a feeling that many things in life are just so pointless?

If you haven't experienced any of the above feelings, ever, then that can only mean that either you are Gautam Buddha or you have refused to grow up. Either way, I am not jealous of you. I think that this quarter life crisis is a rite of passage that we will slowly but surely get through. With flying colors. Horrifying, as it is right now ... one day it will all start to make sense.

The only thing I am concerned about is our tendency to deny facing a crisis. There's no way we can fight an enemy if we don't look at it in the eye. If we are able to talk to our loved ones, about the things are bothering us, I am sure that's half the battle. It's really important to get over that mental block that one should not share his insecurities with anyone else.

And, that's what I have done! Paulo Coelho once mentioned that writing is an acceptable form of undressing in public. That's me. Straight from the heart.

20 somethings: To quote Charles Dickens, It was the best of times, it was the worst of times!